Can You Ever Be TOO Nice?

I am starting this post in a very unusual way. I typically have a title in mind when I start a post, and a theme of what I want to talk about, and it usually involves fun times and adventures, and while I am sure this post will include that, I have been thinking a lot about personality lately. I had a conversation with a new friend last night while driving around the farms of Rexburg and surrounding area and we got on the subject of personal conversion, convictions, and the individual decisions that brought us together at BYU I. It was not supposed to happen with either of us, and yet we were both there, in that moment, having a very deep and bonding conversation. How do things like this happen? What drives people to do the things they do? How can we understand more about others that will benefit us in the future, and in the very choices we make every day. I have learned over the past few months, and years what type of personality I have, and based on the "color" scheme you choose, here are some of the details of how I tick, you may find this helpful, you may not, but I feel its important. I am a "blue" personality, with a dominant "white" 2nd personality. This ultimately means that I form connections with people and I love using words, and intellectual conversations to become friends with people. If I know you, and if I trust you, I will tell you nearly anything you want to know, and I have no problem listening either. I also love to put people first. I am one of the nicest people I know, not to boost my self esteem, but to relate to other nice people out there. The "white" part of my personality happens to also be a major source of the internal struggle I have with myself. I hate confrontation. I don't like to fight, or argue, I don't like the feeling it brings, I don't like the way it makes other people feel, and it is a WHOLE lot easier for me to just take the abuse of the fight, and hold it in, and let the other person win to boost their ego. That is just how I operate, I will tell you anything that you think you want to know if it keeps us from fighting.

Now, I suppose that there was a reason for this little rant, and there was. I played maid today, as I have found myself doing nearly every day since the beginning of the year. I have great roommates whom I love to death, but they are not neat. I may or may not be slightly OCD with cleanliness and order, and I just didn't want to do it all. I had some help today, which was greatly appreciated, but I found myself this entire week running from what I knew was inevitable. I never cooked at home in the past 2 weeks, or spent more than an hour during the waking hours in our house. I was always gone, gone so that I knew, and no one could doubt, that the mess that is always left behind is and was not mine. Then it builds up. Then it just gets bigger and bigger, and I come home later and later, so that I don't have to spend time in it, or look at it, and then it happens, class gets cancelled, I get home way earlier than I am used to, and I can't function. I start thinking I will just do the dishes that we need to cook our chocolate chip pancakes, and I end up doing all the dishes, cleaning the counters, stove, island, microwave... mopping the floor, gathering the trash (someone else took it out for me) and picking up the living room. I really didn't mind doing it, we had some great music, and at least I had company, but I just was so frustrated, because nothing, not one dish that I did, was dirtied by me. I just don't understand why the concept of "if you use it, wash it, dry it, and put it away" is so hard for people to get. Simple, and yet never does it happen. Well thats enough of my vent for today. I just thought about the simple fact that my personality is such that I avoid confrontation. To me it is easier to just suck it up, and use my free time, to benefit everyone else and avoid a fight, or even having to have an awkward conversation about it. Moral of the story...

Nice people get screwed over, not just a few times, but most times, but nice people don't worry, we will always win in the end. I can't tell you how many times I made a new friend, and that that friend became someone whom I could entrust my life with, as I did acts of kindness to them. The other day I was standing in a ticket line, and the people next to me didn't have enough cash to pay for their tickets. Without even hestitating I slapped down 10 dollars for their tickets, just as they found the missing dollar in their purse. Sure, 1o dollars seems like a lot for a college kid, but its a small price to pay to be the helping hand. I just felt happy after that. A week ago I was with my friends on a Horkley's fun, and I had to charge $2.00 in order to use my debit, and I only had $1.30 or so, and so I picked up the girls tab behind me without her even knowing it. I didn't mind, again, small price to make someone smile. And lastly, the big finale, a mix up in the orders at a friends birthday party left me paying the tab for 3 steak dinners. At first I thought I would make a big deal about it, but then I changed my mind, for friends, anything is worth it. I will just have to work a little harder, save a little more, and I got the satisfaction of seeing them, engaged and in love, on a special birthday event. Being nice has its advantages, because we get to have the personal feelings, and so to those of you out there who are struggling with the fact that you may be getting taken for all you're worth, then you just have to sit back, smile, and say that it's all in a days work!

Make a goal, set a plan, to help someone, or to say something nice to someone on a daily basis. These are small things I have noticed start to help with any problem. Depression!? No problem, a bit of exercise, service, and trusting God, and that is done. Having a bad day!? No problem, just suck it up, smile, and see how many people will smile back, shoot, you might even meet someone special as they gaze into your pearly whites. When all is said and done, we don't get to take all the riches and fame with us after death, so a spending a few pennies is just that... pennies, to what the happiness you can receive from helping out someone in need. And to those of you who get helped by a super nice person.... Thanks goes a long way!

College is great, school is tough, exams are rough, people are fun, dating is stressful, and I have a knee injury, but on the bright side, more girls than I thought I knew brought me treats... I almost had a handi-cap parking sticker, I get to talk to a lot of people who ask "what happened?" and I tell them and become friends. I am sure that many adventures await, and that I have a lot lot more to look forward to this summer, and early fall. Until next time, help someone out, say thanks to a stranger, and smile. It goes a LONG ways!